Responsible Decision-Making (A Social-Emotional Skill)
By Monica McGuire, Director of Communications, Russell Coaching
This week we are exploring Responsible Decision-Making. Responsible decision-making is a social-emotional skill that calls upon one’s ability to make ethical, constructive choices about personal and social behavior. Every day you student is called upon to make thousands of decisions and knowing how to make healthy, ethical ones can help pave the way towards a happy life. Here are three ways you can help your student build their decision-making skills.
Share a decision-making model with your student.
Providing a decision-making framework for your student can help them evaluate decisions before they are made and, hopefully, help them avoid unintended consequences.
The D.E.C.I.D.E. model on the ProjectSchoolWellness.com website can help students evaluate their options, explore their values, and consider consequences as they relate to a forthcoming decision. Another important step of the model is evaluation — deciding whether or not one would make the same decision again. These are the steps:
D - Define the decision to be made
E - Explore your options
C - Consider the Consequences
I - Identify your Values
D - Decide and Act
E - Evaluate the results
If you click on the D.E.C.I.D.E. model link above, you will see that even seemingly simple decisions, like whether or not to stay up and watch one more episode on T.V., can be influenced by our values. Janelle Kay explains how through this example of internal dialogue “I really value time with my family, being a good friend, and doing well in school. If I go to bed now I'll get to spend more time with my family, be in a good mood with my friends, and be able to focus at school.” Understanding that values are an integral part of decision-making is an important concept. This leads us to step number two.
Talk with your student about the intersection of decisions and values.
I work with a relationship coach who has been encouraging me to slow down and consider what is most important to me. She asks me, “What do you want?,” then asks “What do you really want?” For example, sometimes my son gets rolling on a topic just as I am ready to head to bed. At that moment, all I can think of is that I need to make him stop talking. Which is true. But what I really want is for my son to talk to me and feel good doing it. If I am stuck on my first thought, that I just want my son to stop talking, my response may be insensitive and hurtful. But if I can remember what I really want, to build a relationship in which he feels safe talking to me, then I can respond with humor about my tiredness and a promise to pick up this topic later on. Responding to the first desire that enters my mind will move me further away from my goal — building a sense of connection with my son — but remembering what I really want, can help me move towards this goal.
The same is true for your student. Helping them assess what they really want out of life, for example — to have close friends, good grades, and excel at basketball — will help them make decisions that lead them towards goals instead of away from them.
Talk about tough decisions.
If you’re being put in a tough spot at work or with a friend, talk with your student about it. Share your thought process and ask them what they think you should do. Likewise, if you are watching a show or movie together and a character’s morals are being challenged, take time to talk with your student about what they would do in a similar situation. Talking about these decisions exposes your student to different scenarios and helps them build a framework for their own decision-making process.
Responsible decision-making is an important social-emotional skill. Sharing a decision-making model, discussing your student’s values, and exploring tough decisions together, all help your student build a framework for good decision-making. When your student is able to make ethical, constructive choices about personal and social behavior, they are able to lead a happier, healthier, and more full-filling life.
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About the Author
Monica McGuire is a writer and parent who believes all relationships, including parent-child relationships, flourish under mutual respect, curiosity, kindness, and compassion. She lives in Michigan with her family where she is constantly being challenged to listen to, understand, and appreciate her teenagers’ points of view. You can reach her at monicamcguire100@gmail.com.