Podcast Snippets: Moving from Frustration to Empathy
By Monica McGuire, Director of Communications, Russell Coaching
As parents, we often assign personality traits to our children’s behaviors. Our child isn’t doing what we ask them to do? Clearly, they are just too stubborn, too defiant, too lazy.
In season 23, episode 4 of “Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast,” Dr. Russell discusses how symptoms of our student’s ADHD or other neurodevelopment disorders can erroneously be viewed as behaviors. Often the actions our children are exhibiting are not chosen behaviors, instead, they are symptoms of their brain’s glitchy operating systems. Once we understand that we are dealing with a symptom, not a conscious behavior, it can be easier to distance ourselves from our feelings of frustration and hopelessness. Knowing our children are just as discouraged by the behaviors as we are can help us move from frustration to empathy.
Nikki Kinzer, one of the hosts of the podcast, recounts a conversation she and her husband had with their ADHD teenagers. They asked them what they would like other people to know about their ADHD. This was their daughter’s response, “Don't get frustrated so easily, because we are trying. We are trying, our brain works differently, basically, be patient, bear with us.”
The hosts’ daughter hit the nail on the head. She is asking for the same thing all of us want — understanding and acceptance. So the next time your student starts pushing all your buttons, take a step back and wonder, is this a true behavior or just a symptom of a bigger struggle?
To hear more ideas about growing empathy for your neurodiverse student, click HERE.
About the Author
Monica McGuire is a writer and parent who believes all relationships, including parent-child relationships, flourish under mutual respect, curiosity, kindness, and compassion. She lives in Michigan with her family where she is constantly being challenged to listen to, understand, and appreciate her teenagers’ points of view. You can reach her at monicamcguire100@gmail.com.